The new acting Inspector-General of Police, Alkali Baba Usman has released his 12 point agenda for quick implementation: The agenda as obtained by the Newscritic online makes it mandatory for Police Officers with pot belle to use slimming tea therapy.
This is against the expected norm of such Police Operatives undergoing rigorous physical exercise and fitness training to remove the fat in their body to remain fit.
- Immediate dismantling of road blocks across the federation (You can still encourage officers with few Naira notes when you meet them on the road anyways.)
- Immediate withdrawal of officers attached to private citizens (To open the space for private security companies to thrive).
- Deduction of court awarded damages from the salary of any officer found to have abused human rights.
- Immediate recruitment of 1,500 lawyers with litigation experience to be attached to each police division/area command. They are to give legal fervour to investigations, provide legal advice and serve as police prosecutors.
- Procurement and installation of video recording facilities in all investigation rooms of the Force.
- Building of new laboratories in 36 States and the FCT to analyze DNA, finger prints, blood samples, body fluids and so on.
- Launching of Vehicle Procurement Scheme for police personnel in partnership with Innoson and PAN. (Officers to get a new car and pay off over ten-twenty years.)
- Rapid rehabilitation and restructuring of Police Academies and curriculum.
- Any interstate transfer of officers to be effected with provision of transport and accommodation allowance.
- Provision of two pairs of uniform and boots for all personnel, annually.
- Increased allocation paid directly to each police division to run its operations.
- Bi-monthly inspection and audit of police cells, to be carried out in conjunction with representatives from the local NBA Branch and the Bench.
- Prompt granting of bail upon arrival of lawyers at police stations, especially those ones that show up in their wigs or bibs and do not claim any human rights law.
- Slimming tea for officers with pot belly.